Like I mentioned in my introduction to this little website, follow me along on this journey and let’s see what blooms. I have to first mention that most who know me, don’t know much of my relationship with Jesus. I’ve been called all sorts of things, such as an Atheist or Pagan, but just like the color of my skin, I don’t fit in just one box. Throughout my life I have learned of Jesus from many different sources and perspectives. After spending time as a child in Catholic school, never understanding anything other than “The Golden Rule”, which few practiced in my experience, I had to learn more. My desire to know more and ultimately question the Almighty for answers that make sense to me, hasn’t ever stopped even through the guilt and fear of hell that was instilled in me. Once I learned that Santa wasn’t real, I had a hard time believing the rest of the Christmas stories that came with him. I’ve since learned enough for me to feel comfortable in celebrating the Winter Solstice for my seasonal holiday. I celebrate gratitude for the beauty in everything, including all the stories, and all the beliefs others choose to celebrate with love. Jesus isn’t the same to me as he is with many others. For me, Jesus is a divine spirit of a loving brother. I believe he was a healer and an alchemist with an open connection to the creator of all things, just as he said we are. I think to follow Jesus isn’t to worship him, he didn’t ask for that. He wants us to love ourselves and each other as he loved us and to practice his examples. He was a messenger, a teacher, a healer, and still is! How do I know this? Because I just do. Nobody has to believe what I believe, it doesn’t change anything for me. After a major life upheaval in my childhood, I had kinda given up hope that there was any kind of “God” up there. I believed in the stars! The stars and the moon were always there for me no matter where I was. On an excursion with my group home, we went rock climbing at Joshua Tree and camped under Halley’s Comet, it was an amazingly beautiful place. I couldn’t sleep all night, just staring at the sky. It was the middle of the night, and I had to go get rid of all the water I was drinking. Another girl woke up and said she’d go with me. There was nobody out there, no moon, no wind, just starlight and a comet. We walked and talked about our woes in life and decided to sit down against a couple of rocks and talk about Jesus. She said he helped her with her feelings and all she had to do was ask him to come into her heart. I said ok, I can do that. She held my hand, said a little prayer, and then I did it, I asked out loud. Just in that moment a big burst of wind came towards us, and a big bright light flashed across the huge rocks all around us. In this moment, I felt as if my chest opened up and that wind went right inside me, and it stayed. It felt just like pure love. She said, that didn’t happen when she did it! We were both in awe and never went back to sleep that night. An experience I’ll never forget. I have known since then that he was real, religion has nothing to do with that fact for me. There have been many moments in my life that I know he was with me, even if I didn’t ask. So, now I’m learning more about him. If you have read my journey, you know that I have been “told” to do things, and I have been doing them. When the vision first came to me about what to do with the branch, I said “Cool, magic wands”, and heard with a force “NO, HEALING WANDS”! I didn’t understand any of this, I just know that by following this guidance in my head (that isn’t me) I feel peace and joy. I felt I could trust this deliverer of messages and instructions to my mind, it felt safe. I knew somehow the answers would come. Many answers have come to me in puzzles pieces that don’t fall into place right away, and this is another one for me. I now have just learned that Jesus was called a magician and was known to have used a wand with his healings. However, “magician” was not a kind label to have then and is not what he was, he was a healer with a divining healing wand. My mind is blown, I had no idea about this. I see on the internet much talk of Jesus coming soon. I think that’s where everyone is confused, he’s already here if we listen. If we want the divine connection that he had, then we must think, say, and do everything with love as he did. Starting with loving ourselves and others with his same level of compassion, and absolutely no judgement. Walk his walk, practice the “Golden Rule” with everyone always, this is what we should learn from our magnificent brother (the teacher) before we flunk out of earth school. I don’t think we can fail, I just want to get to the highest grade level I can before the bell rings and school lets out. I don’t claim to be a Christian, or a Pagan, or any label other than just a human being, one who loves Jesus for who he was and for who he is with me. I am here just like a rose, once tossed in the darkness as a seedling only to be given the lessons needed to crack open and grow enough through all the layers of dirt to someday reach the sky in bloom with all my thorns worn down as certificates of courses completed. Amen.
