I think we all reach this point in our lives when we reflect on where we’ve been, and who we’ve been, throughout our life thus far. Who we’ve met, who we’ve known, who we’ve loved, and who we’ve let go. All our accomplishments and all our failures that we’ve been through along the way, which at some point we must learn the part we’ve played. When Covid came along and sent everyone spiraling, I was right there in the toilet bowl too. Losing so many people during that time from Covid, cancer, and alcoholism, made me realize just how short and fragile life really is. Our culture keeps us so busy that we never get to slow down long enough to get to know who we are. Always striving to be who we’re expected to be in society, relationships, jobs, family, etc. None of us truly aim to disappoint anyone by expressing who we are, however, it happens all the time. We’ve all created little boxes in our minds for everyone and everything around us, all based upon our own perceptions derived from our individual experiences. How many times have you been misunderstood and had no idea why? How many times do you think you may have misunderstood someone because your lenses of perception are different from theirs? This happens all the time, and nobody likes it. Ultimately, this is a form of judgement. It takes empathy to be able to see anything from another person’s perspective, as well as the desire to understand and care. Although even the strongest empathy will not allow you to truly understand another’s experience and how it feels to be them. This is why (I believe) when we reach mid-life, most of us have had many similar experiences and are more able to have compassion for others having the experience. I have had many unexplainable experiences in my life and chose to try to self-medicate them away. I’m not doing that anymore. I’m embracing all my experiences now, and I will continue to share them for those who are interested. My life thus far has been full of many valuable, painful, and joyful lessons that have prepared me for this time in my human experience. I see things that others can’t see, and I hear things that other’s don’t hear, just as I also know things that other’s don’t know, and I feel things that other’s don’t feel. This has been a blessing and what feels like a curse all at the same time. I have been on a learning journey in a search for knowledge so as to better understand who I really am inside this flesh and what my purpose is here on this big blue ball. I’m going to share my experiences here, because I can. See, I have always been a truth seer (even if I chose not to see it), and a truth teller (even if it came out the wrong way), just as for the majority of my life I’ve been doubted and accused of lying (at least a million times). The difference for me now at this mid-life point, is that I don’t care if someone doubts my truths anymore, because that’s on them. My plethora of lessons learned in my life has given me these lenses to perceive reality as I am supposed to now. I also know now that I am not alone, and I am not crazy. The more I dive into the abundance of knowledge available and learn of other humans with similar experiences to mine throughout history, the more I am inspired to openly share my personal experiences out to the world with absolutely no shame anymore. I am who I am, and this is my story to tell. Yes, I see dragons, and I’ve been hugged by one (which was AMAZING). Yes, I can feel things that others can’t even fathom, and that’s ok because I’m getting used to being just a little bit different from the mainstream idea of what a normal person/life on planet Earth at my age should look like. I can’t entertain shallow relationships with people anymore. I can’t swim around in the kiddie pool now that I’ve seen the ocean. I’m diving deep into the meaning of this life of mine and not wasting any more time appeasing the comfort zones of others. I won’t argue my truths and I won’t try to change a mind. This phase of my existence will be guided, as I am tuning in now. I am uninhibited by my former chosen methods of distraction and will be consciously choosing the path of least resistance from now on. This is my mid-life (if I’m lucky) and so far it’s been magical, even through the misery.
